RD.COM Humor Jokes. The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! Always borrow money from a pessimist. So enjoy this collection of 80 funny one liners! Why did the chicken cross the road? Which always seems to startle strangers. r/oneliners: A variety of funny, one line jokes in a well-moderated, friendly community! Here is a list of words and phrases that can be swapped out of normal sentences to make your own fish puns, fishing one-liners, and memes. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Funny One Liners. ... Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes. There are jokes about other ridiculous-looking and less absurd animals as well. The biggest laughs come from jokes … The 25 All-Time Greatest One-Liners by Politicians. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box… Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself! There’s no sense in going off half-cocked. 1: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. 50+ Best British Jokes, Puns And One-Liners. Enjoy 101 hilarious one liners that your kids will love to laugh at! Live & Let Die Puns, Quotes, and One-Liners Miss Caruso: Such a delicate touch James Bond: Sheer magnetism, darling . 2 years ago Editorial Team 3582 Views funny, funny jokes, jokes, one liner, one liner jokes. 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners. Edited By: Shai K. Share. British One Liners . February 13, 2018. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.” – Demetri Martin. Share these one liner jokes with them! I like to hold hands at the movies. Posted on February 1, ... (your one true love!). Here is a list of some great onion puns and one-liners. Once again the only theme is variety. One Liner Cannibal Joke 1 How can you help a starving cannibal? by Alex Finnis. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. Very Short Jokes. 100 of the funniest short jokes and one-liners. This is an extension of our best teenager jokes. Enjoy 101 hilarious one liners that your kids will love to laugh at! ... 101 Jokes and One Liners for Kids! How do you embarrass an archaeologist? We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. 1. These puns can also be used as funny and witty Instagram captions. One Liner Cannibal Joke 2 How can you help a starving cannibal? Tommy Cooper o O o If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Read full article. Aaaaahhhhh. James Bond: Absolutely. My wife was surprised when I cut the onion in the shape of a die. Back to the top of this page about Really Funny One Liners and Very Short Jokes . Here are a few of the most festive puns for the season that you can tell to your family as you walk through the cold: 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. The 50 Best One Liner Jokes. It's always a good time for hilarious one liners and funny short jokes. Share. o O o Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. o O o IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought, "he's trying to pull a fast one". Time flies like an arrow. Don't believe us? James Bond: Just being disarming, darling The Man With the Golden Gun Puns, Quotes, and One-Liners Whether you’re single or taken, though, everyone knows that Valentine’s Day is a great time for sharing all those picture-perfect Instagram shots — which of […] Valentine's Day. Sign for a networking business in Australia: The LAN down under. A collection of Tim Vine Jokes and One Liners. Show him a used tampon and ask, “What period is this from?” 13. Before we venture into the 66 Best Sleep Jokes & Insomnia One-Liners, I just had to show you guys this video of animals falling asleep! Give them a hand ! 30 best lockdown jokes 2021: funny quips and one-liners to keep you smiling through the Covid lockdown ... Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake! And happily, the laughs don’t have to stop. One of these days is none of these days. So check this list of bar and bartender funny lines and enjoy. o O o Random funny jokes. BuzzFeed Staff, UK 1. But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. One should avoid a casual -tea as much as possible. Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best. He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed. Some of these hilarious English jokes and jokes about Londoners will definitely knock your socks off! Fruit flies like a banana. 150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny. All of the zingers that will echo into eternity. 99 Of The Best Fishing Jokes And One-Liners That Are Reel-y Funny. 3. 30 Mark Twain One-Liners That Are Still Relevant Today. A**/ Bass: I got thrown from the seahorse and landed on my bass. “What is worse than ants in your pants? Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? You only live once! Quirky and funny jokes, Check out this compilation of hilarious jokes and share them with your friends. If a British person is too relaxed during tea time, they can get injured or die. So I said to this train driver, "I want to go to Paris." Die anyway. The jokes you tell don't always have to be long, detailed masterpieces. One Liner Cannibal Joke 3 What did the cannibal say when he was full? Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. Best One Line Jokes. Team Scary Mommy. 1. Yes, you too can laugh like a crazed hyena! Without further ado, peel your way through these onion puns! Without geometry, life is pointless. Sometimes, silly little winter-themed one-liners are all you need to start giggling. Try going through these amazing short one liner jokes we've carefully collected and you'll agree one liners are simply the best. Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally. His advice will live on forever. February 10, 2018. o O o I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back. These clever jokes will lift your spirits, brighten your mood and get you giggling in no time. You might really enjoy the Random One-Liners where you get a new one liner joke time after time. Valentine’s Day Pictures For Kids. We all know that sleep problems like Insomnia & sleep deprivation aren’t funny. Famous One Liner Jokes. Tweet. 21 Of The Funniest One-Liner Jokes Ever Told. Best Valentine's Day jokes from bad puns to one liners. Go to the Quotescoop.com Homepage Unfortunately, they’re often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour. So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers. … I am originally from Indiana. Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. More Hilarious One-Liner Jokes Here is another tranche of one-liners. 07, 2020. Solitaire: Is there time before we go, for lesson number three? He won’t expect it back. See more ideas about quotes, words, words of wisdom. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. o O o Eat right. The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here”. These Great One Line Jokes are fast and funny. 12. I have summed up One Line Jokes for teens and tweens as well as puns you can use for school and college. Tim Latterner Updated: Apr. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Stay fit. I just followed the instruction asking me to … A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on his shoulder. ... Home > Clean One Liner Puns. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. One thing you cannot recycle is the wasted time. Uncles” – Unknown. 47 of the Funniest One-Liners on the Internet. Brighten your friends’ day! ... and Harry Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's much-anticipated interview with Oprah Winfrey will air in the US at 1am UK time. 2. Valentine’s Day Jokes One Liners. Feb 16, 2021 - Words of Wisdom, Puns, & My Favorite One Liners | #inspirational #quotes #motivation #humor #puns #oneliners #MondayMotivation #motivational #funnyquotes #wordsofwisdom #lifelessons #thoughtoftheday #positivequotes #inspiringquotes #quoteoftheday #QOTD #petquotes. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. I also throw in some flirty one-liners that might come in handy at the right moment. I love a good one liner joke, even when they are tasteless cannibal one liner jokes! A sandwich walks into a bar. In the joke world hierarchy, one-liners are a gem: they’re easy to remember, take no time to tell, and if crafted just right pack a mightier punch than a joke with a longer set up.